pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
