He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
