you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
