This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
