I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nicole vs. Life
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
