So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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