The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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