Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
