dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
