brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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