I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
splinters make it hard to masturbate
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
