do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
