Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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