its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
