i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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