matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
