I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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