I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
