It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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