dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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