Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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