Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
