Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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