You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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