my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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