Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
