everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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