Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
