I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
