Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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