You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
