the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
