Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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