ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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