taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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