I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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