I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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