Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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