my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
