who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
