The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
