shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
