I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
