How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
