All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
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Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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