I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
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