I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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