Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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