I'm jealous of your bromance
it wasn't lemon gatorade
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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