You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
