..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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