dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
