My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
