Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
