You really coming over, don't trick.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
