we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
