But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we're making bets on your personal life
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
