last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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