Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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