Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm always down for nudity.
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