the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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