Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Shame - the story of my life.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
