Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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