At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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