u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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