physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
