I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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