Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
